I'm lost and stupid without you.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
