butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My cat gives me a boner
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
