she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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