So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
