Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize