Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
