apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
