I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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