You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
