Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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