i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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