Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
my poor anus
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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