I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
