he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
