everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize