I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize