proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
