He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
