apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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