we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
