i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
