bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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