1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
