I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
