You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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