I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just blew my weed a kiss
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
