Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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