My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
