How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
