i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
