it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
our cab driver is having phone sex.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
