New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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