There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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