Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
