so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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