could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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