I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
if i can run in heels then i can drive
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
