So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
