We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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