Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
