You were right. It hurts to walk today.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize