A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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