That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
