i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
