in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
