ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
pop tarts are not kleenex
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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