someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
