you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
