I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
