Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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