Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
