I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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