She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
