would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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