Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
