she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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