North Korea, Best Korea!
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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