How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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