I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize