i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
