So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Randomize
