I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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