I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
